How To Date A Human

Posted on Fri Dec 5th, 2025 @ 9:55am by Consul Andrinn Orin & Teevs Dosivi

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Diplomatic suite
Timeline: Between Missions
1961 words - 3.9 OF Standard Post Measure

"Mister Orin," Teevs began. He and the diplomat had been going through the different species who were open to trade. Part of the process involved Teevs teaching Orin about the different cultural values, like which acts cultures found offensive and which could work in their favour. The two were sitting in one of the meeting rooms in the diplomatic suite, currently reviewing a species called the Seelani. He put down the datapad that was in his hands and looked to Orin. "I have questions about Human culture that I was hoping you could answer."

Andrinn looked up from the PADD that he was working on and asked, "Yeah, what can I do for you Teevs? While I might not be a Human, I've been around them long enough and even dated one myself. So, what's on your mind and what kind of questions do you have?"

Teevs paused long enough to phrase his words. "I have been curious about this for a while: what is the value of eye contact? On my homeworld, eye contact between different genders can be considered insulting or rude, especially toward positions of authority. It's usually only acceptable amongst family." Those words explained why Teevs always only looked in the direction of the women aboard the Elysium, but never made direct eye contact.

Andrinn tilted his head side to side for a moment as he thought up the best way to explain eye contact, in regards to several species of the Federation. "Well, it has to do with what several members of the Federation, Humans mostly, believe to be respectful. If you don't make eye contact with the person that you're talking with, it could be seen as rude, as it shows that you're giving your undivided attention. Why do you ask?" Andrinn said, looking over Teevs as he finished speaking.

"I just don't want to be rude by accident," Teevs explained. "I've had several people tell me that it's ok to look, but it's different from what I'm used to, so it's difficult to adapt sometimes." He paused for a couple seconds to think. "In my culture, those who can continue the lineage, I believe the Federation calls them women, are highly respected. To meet their gaze when you aren't coupled is like... not seeing them as equal." A quiet chuckle escaped Teevs as he said, "you can probably understand why it gets confusing." His brow then furrowed slightly with curiosity. "I've noticed that some Humans will maintain eye contact for longer periods, but only with certain people. What does that mean?"

Andrinn couldn't help but chuckle a little bit himself. He knew exactly what Teevs was going through and meant. But, since him and his people grew up in a different part of the universe, they grew up in a different way than most of the species of the Federation and the Milky Way Galaxy. Composing himself, Andrinn said, "I'm sorry, as I don't mean to chuckle like I did. But, what you've said hit a chord with me on a few different things. Humans, in particular, are a very unique species."

Pausing for a moment to think of what to say next, Andrinn thought about how to answer some of Teevs questions. After a few moments and not wanting to prolong the silence between him and Teevs, Andrinn finally spoke up and said, "Well, I think for Humans, it's a sign of respect for people to make eye contact, as I think I mentioned a moment ago. But, for someone to linger a little bit more in Human culture, especially between the genders or people that one might like, it means that they might be interested in them or have a special connection with them. It's something that Humans call the 'butterflies in their stomachs' or something like that. I think Sam used to call it that when we first started dating back in the day. For me, it might be a little weird if I had butterflies down there cause it might mean something is wrong with Orin though."

An insect species crawling around inside the digestive system sounded uncomfortable, but the mention of it being related to a special connection helped Teevs at least recognise the metaphor. Kind of. The people aboard seemed to enjoy using these strange phrases. Especially the mention of hitting a chord, as Teevs didn't have any musical instruments in his possession. "Did Sam ever describe this sensation? How do the insectoids get there?" His curiosity seemed a little more intent now. He remembered that Addison liked to look at him a lot, and he liked to look back despite his culture screaming in the back of his head. They had talked about their feelings over dinner some time ago, and shortly after Teevs decided to learn more about the nuances of Human social engagement, but to his frustration the computer gave rather clinical and unhelpful answers.

It took a moment before Andrinn realized what Teevs was asking about the insectoids in the stomach part. He couldn't help but stifle a little chuckle before thinking about what to tell Teevs. After pondering on it for a moment, Andrinn replied, "Well, he did describe having butterflies on more than one occasion. But, butterflies in this sense doesn't actually mean that you've got butterflies in the pit of your stomach. It just describes that feeling you get when you like someone and your stomach starts to gets all warm and fuzzy. If that makes any sort of sense?"

Teevs thought about it for a couple seconds before giving a slow nod. "I think so, yes. So when Humans look at a specific person for a long time, it can signal personal interest, and it may be accompanied by these... butterflies." He knew what the feeling was for himself, but it explained what he and Addison had talked about a little better. To think she might have felt this whenever she watched him... Teevs leaned forward in his seat a little. "When the Human you dated felt these butterflies, was it spontaneous or was it because of something you did?"

Andrinn scratched his chin for a moment and said, "It depends. It came be due to or the other. It really just depends on the person and how they make you feel or you make them feel, as well as what you're doing with them. Why? Have you had some butterflies with someone recently?" Andrinn couldn't help but smile as he thought about Teevs maybe being interested with someone onboard the ship. Even though the ship was quite large and there were several dozen people onboard, love was always something Andrinn could appreciate.

Despite the inevitability of disclosing feelings for a Human to understand how to spend time with said Human, Teevs still felt himself get a bit flustered. He gave a faint smile as his ears burned. "With Addison Leyton, Mister Orin." His energy was similar to that of a teenage crush. "I know at least for me, when I look at her, my heart beats faster for just a couple seconds. The emotion is like... the same thing you might feel after doing something fun but slightly risky. Adrenaline, maybe?"

Andrinn regarded Teevs for a moment and listened to what he had to say. When Teevs was finished, Andrinn thought about it for a few more moments before finally saying, "It sounds like you're experiencing those 'butterflies' that I was talking about earlier. Thank you for letting me in on that, as I know that it's like you don't want to put it out there. If you did, it's almost like the feelings might disappear or something. The whole thing might crumble. That's another things that people say...Humans, in particular. Don't know why though on that one?"

"Interesting... Humans do come up with rather strange sayings." Teevs took a sip of his water before continuing. "I suppose I'm... well, I want to understand Humans, Mister Orin. Understanding these butterflies is a start. We had dinner to discuss our feelings, and I want to make sure that subsequent outings don't induce a... crumble?"

"That actually leads me to another one of those odd little Human expressions. They say something along the lines of the cookie doesn't crumble too far from the tree or something? I don't know. I've lived around Humans for centuries, but some of their sayings and customs even get to me, Teevs. I don't even fully pretend to understand all of them yet," Orin said with a small chuckle as he started to scratch his chin and think of all of the Human idioms and cultural things that they do in and out of courting.

Teevs chuckled with him. "I tried asking the computer about these sayings but I don't think it quite understands what I am asking."

"You should go down to Sickbay sometimes and talk to the holographic doctor when they're online. They're a blast when asking about stuff like that cause depending on what model it is, depends on their knowledge of Human idioms," Andrinn said with a small chuckle as he got up and walked over to the replicator. Pointing to it, Andrinn looked back and asked, "Want anything more to drink or anything?"

"A black tea would be wonderful, Mister Orin," Teevs answered with a smile. "I do find your ship's holograms fascinating. I wonder if Doctor Sthilg would indulge my curiosity."

Andrinn ordered the black tea for Teevs and got himself some Vulcan spice tea. Taking the two glasses back to where Teevs and Andrinn were working and talking, Andrinn handed the black tea to Teevs as he said, "Depending on how long Dr. Sthilg has been around, you can ask him about the EMH Mark I's. Part of why I say the more modern ones are a blast is because they learned from Mark I EMHs. They had no bedside manners and now, the newer ones and the LMHs are better. But, they still have an interesting bit with idioms from around the galaxy."

Teevs accepted the tea with an appreciative nod. "Ok, so when interacting with Humans in a romantic setting, it sounds like they appreciate prolonged eye contact, silly phrasings, and the sensation of insectoids in the stomach. And if I wish to try out these idioms or see how they may be used in everyday settings, I might be able to figure it out by interacting with the Mark holograms." He chuckled, "what a complicated set of social rules!"

"Tell me about it! I'm a diplomat and I have to figure out on the fly sometimes which social cues I might need to use or pay attention to, as well as figure out what an idiom might be on the fly," Andrinn said with a small chuckle as he took a sip of his own drink. He looked over at Teevs and said, "One time, I was doing a negotiation with a species called the Ferengi and they are a monetary based society that has something called the Rules of Acquisition. I misspoke about one of the rules and nearly got thrown into the brig on their ship. If it wasn't for the other diplomat with me, I think I'd still be locked up in that brig to this day."

That made Teevs give a confused chuckle. "This is not related to the discussion at hand, but what is a monetary based society, Mister Orin?"

Orin waves his hand in the air for a second as he thought about it and started to say, "It'll take a while. But, if you're up for it, it all basically started like this with money..."

[OFF:]

Consul Andrinn Orin
Chief Diplomatic Officer
USS Elysium

&

Teevs Dosivi
Galatic Wonderer